Hello tblog world! boooo addicting idolatorous myspace!

Today I am a "jumbled-up-mess-of-confu sion" according to merrill..but i think it's according to me too. I have a problem with wanting to know completely how my life is going to play out RIGHT NOW..*sigh*.

only not really..all i want is clarity on stupid boys from God and I can't seem to find it...*sighing again*

all i can say about today is please pray for me because im not sure ive ever been more confuzled in my whole life.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! liking boys is so silly an annoying..i wish there were protestant nuns

so last night i went to church... Twas interestante. On the way to church I had to ride with my dad and listen to him talk about him new facial hair which I found intolerable. Some of my friends werent doing too well once i was there. More than anything i just didnt want to go home and have to pretend to listen to my dad on the way there but all the homeschoolers already had plans that i couldnt be a part of but it was because of there parents not them so i wasnt really mad just super bummed.

So i go to sojourners for Bible study like always after church. i thought i didnt have a ride but then jessica's mom drove us praise the Lord! Well, i was already trying not to cry and I wasn't even quite sure why. Then all this stuff started rushing into my head about all this idol worship crap that i am having to study and stuff about my dad and i just felt like such a wench for thinking that stuff about him. So then Steve starts giving this message that he felt led to give and it was a lot of stuff I heard before about counting everything as loss next to Christ etc. but he said somethign that really stuck him me

"the thing you love the most you'll want to spend the most time on" I am so pleased with that chap. not in a romantic way or anything but he is just so wise. I'll have to hook him up with one of my friends. ANYWAY! So that really helped me realize why its been so hard to be studying all this hindu crap fro school because it has been taking up time i could be spending with God. so that was good. but for some reason i wa still freaking out about my dad and then worship started and i felt like i couldnt worship because i had all this hatred for my dad that i couldnt get rid of no matter what i did. So i start crying and i cant control it anymore just when i decide to go get a chai. so im standing there crying digging out the right amount of money at the counter and the lady wasnt there. So Steve comes up and asks me what i want and writes it down on the order sheet for me and asks me if i'm alright. (seeing as i was almost balling) so i said no but i just couldn't look at him. Then he asks me what wrong and Praise the Lord the Brittany the latte girl came up right then and asked if she could pray for me. So Brittany and Steve prayed for me and then Steve helped me pay for my chai and brought it to me when it was done. Well i felt a lot better but i was still crying and i couldnt understand why but then i started praying because i didnt want my dad to come and see me crying but then i felt God being like..does it really matter? the worst that could happen is that you could tell him the truth, that you are mad at him and you always have been and that is why you are upset. infact why not tell him and start the healing tonight?(sorry im not going to get into all the crap he has caused in our family

That was probably the scaryiest thing God has ever asked me to do..and i did it, and do you know what my dad said?"That's ok. Just pray for me that i wouldnt do those things to our family anymore" i was like...whoa...for one my dad didnt freak out. and then he shaved off his stupid facial hair when we got home! So i just want to praise God and encourage you all that...God can ask you to do some scary things. (sorry this is going to get cheesy) like it could just be asking forgiveness for being angry at a parent your whole life, or dying for his name, or just staying up 10 more minutes do talk with him when you have a test at 8 in the morning. But God will reward you in more amazing ways than you know. I also want to thank God  for amazing people like Brittany and Steve who i hardly know but can do amazing things for people because they are open to doing God's work.

Jamisiki~Praise the Lord~Satya

I'm such a silly person to let my passion for India get in the way of God. What's going on you say? Well, I am having to study indian dance and hinduism everyday and im sick of it! I'm sick of focusing on the bondage of his people and being here not being able to help them. i'm sick of being bombarded with lies and spiritual warfare. I wish I could just go to normal school..or become a nun..only not catholic. Like...all the lies literally make me sick.

Well..i get to go to bed soon. But Jesus still loves me, and is blessing me so much with Anna over break and j term. She is so amazing. Also I got to see the belts on sunday and I finally met Jamila!!!!!! She is going to Bangledesh over spring break! Part of me wishes I was going to some amazing place like that but i also know God is so much more amazing and he has things for me here beyond what I could imagine

Well..im going to go but please pray for me...sorry I couldn't be of much encouragment..if this post discouraged you just know that you you dont have to worry about me because it's just going to make me into a better person. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ! For His is the Glory forever and ever Amen!

i've been struggling with my faith a lot...it seems like everyone has..i need to pray for my friends more. 2 days ago I was having a really hard time with that and ofcourse Kristen figures it out right at the moment its the worst and is "all what's wrong satya?..." so i start crying during english class telling her and we just went to the bathroom and fixed my makeup and she prayed for me and it was good. She's such a good friend....but now im doing much better...could still use a lot of prayer though.

I think i need to be more open...i'm doing really well with that at school..i almost don't stereotype peps anymorePRAISEJESUS! but...it seems like there is a huge amount of people i don't know and don't talk to but all my friends are friends with them.

Yesterday I really felt like meybe i should talk to Bre and Ellie more....but i got too scared....alyssa too...tonight is her and jenni's party..idk if i can go or even if i want to...if im hesitating this much and my parents are trying this much to get me to not go then maybe i shouldnt..but i like them and i want to get to know people...but..i know i'd be too shy once i was there.

OH MY WORD!!!! i think i made a huge mistake. there is this guy who i liked, liked being the key word, for a bit but i decided against it so i dont like him anymore...and if it got back to anyone it could be very detremental....for reasons untold here...and i told someone....someone who i dont think is gossipy...but she's just so outgoing and preppy that she seems like the typ who would be...i'm really scared! please please please pray that she won't tell anyone! i dont think you can fathom how bad it would be if they found out!

i miss my beautiful India...~satya

Jesus I am desperate. Jesus we are desperate. I don't know what to do..i stand before you with maybe even less than a mustard seed faith and I beg of you to show up. I rebuke the enemy in the name of Jesus.

I cry out for my brothers and sisters as well as my self for our faith is sooooo little!!!!

Shifting Sandby Caedmon's Call album: 40 Acres (1999)

Sometimes I believe all the lies /So I can do the things I should despise And every day I am swayed /By whatever is on my mind  I hear it all depends on my faith /So I'm feeling precarious The only problem I have with these mysteries Is they're so mysterious  And like a consumer I've been thinking /If I could just get a bit more More than my 15 minutes of faith, Then I'd be secure  (Chorus) My faith is like shifting sand Changed by every wave My faith is like shifting sand So I stand on grace   I've begged you for some proof /For my Thomas eyes to see A slithering staff, a leperous hand /And lions resting lazily  A glimpse of your back-side glory /And this soaked altar going ablaze but you know i've seen do much /i've explained it all away Chorus  Waters rose as my doubts reigned /My sand-castle faith, it slipped away Found myself standing on your grace /It'd been there all the time  (Chorus repeated) Stand on grace   Jesus I wish I could speed up and be spiritually where you want me to be when you send me to do your work in India...help me to not doubt what you want me to do there or that there is hope for the Indian people. forgive me for doubting. Mother India Lyrics by Caedmon’s Call. Father God, You have shed Your tears for Mother India They have fallen to water ancient seeds That will grow into hands to touch the untouchable How blessed are the poor, the sick, the weak Father, forgive me, for I have not believed Like Mother India, I have groaned and grieved Father, forgive me, I forgot Your grace Your Spirit falls on India and captures me in Your embrace The serpent spoke and the world believed its venom Now we're ten to a room or compared with magazines There's a land where our shackles turn to diamonds Where we trade in our rags for a royal crown In that place, our oppressors hold no power And the doors of the King are thrown wide   And she fell to her knees as she cried In the Innocent's corner I'll hide You came around and lifter her up with the angels beside Would she be denied? ~innocent's corner~caedmon's call....please Jesus...do it for me ...once again... my real name is Sarah..God's princess and to be perfectly honest Jesus I don't feel like it. I'm soooo frustrated that it seems like you arent showing up. SHOWUP! PLEASE! I"M WAITING SHOW UP!..still blessed be your name. ~satya~truth..i can't wait till God chooses my name

I'm sooo happy today!Jesus has been filling me with such a love for my friends! i can't wait to see them all again! Today is shabaat and i wanted to hang out with my friends jon and anna and eat tubooli but noooo even though it's shabaat my mom is going to work painting the porch. as christians we are graphted in to the jewish faith!....but oh well. now in order so see them i have to break shabaat and clean my room and do homework!*sigh* (i'm so not jewish and i know God doesnt care if I break shabaat but still*sigh*)

Yesterday was really boring until 5 minutes before school ended. I auditioned for the part of Luisa for this showcase. IT WAS SCARY! i've only auditioned for something one other time in my life! i had to read this monolouge on a stage in front of an empty house except for one guy who i was auditioning for. i nearly died! idk if i want to get the part...i would have to sing in front of my whole school! but i suppose if i get it it's because they think i'm good and that would give me enough confidence to do it.

After school the most amazing thing happened! Kristen and Alyssa were talking to me and manda walked up. I had been wanting to go have coffee with manda so i asked her. Then kristen and alyssa were all "we're going to starbucks you guys should come with"....an invitation...from preps....to associate outside of school?!!!?! that hasnt happened to me sinse like fourth grade! i was sooooo happy. it wasn't awkward at all either! we had a lot of fun and they were super nice to manda which made me sooooo happy. Half way through our adventure david and his dad showed up...that was amusing. idk if his dad was trying to check up on him and alyssa or what but it was funnyhehe

 When we left they asked us if we were going to join them everyday, and said that we should! sadly i think i only will be able to on fridays or every once in a while but i was soooo suprised and happy that they asktually would invite me to spend another few hours with them everyday!

the best part was when we were about to leave david said to me "you know satya you were really reserved at the beginning of the year but...you're really cool now" OMG! thinking about it makes me cry..guys arent my friends except for at church...preppy guys..well...if just the crazy nerdy girl and ive always been that at school to guys. David i think is the first preppy guy at school in my whole life to ever consider me a friend. Gosh i wish there was a way to let him know how much that impacted me. like to let me know that he thinks there isnt something wrong with me that makes it impossible for us to be friends. i think the best part is that we're just friends....he's not looking for anything romantic in return, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

I'm sooo happy at this school. i can't thank Jesus enough even for that little thing last night and what he taught me about himself, me david, alyssa, kristen  and really everything. Let alone what he is teaching me everyday! I love Jesus soooo much! sometimes i wonder how i will ever take such Joy or love for the rest of my life..i guess i'll just have to pour it out on everyone else. ek! preaise jesus! jamisiki didiuh or biyay!(praise the lord brothers and sisters!)~didi sAtYa

Hello everyone! I have been is school for a month and it has been absolutely amazing. Jesus is doing sooo many things in my life. Eveyday i'm a little more out of my comfort zone and a little more happy. I have preppy friends who treat me like a human being, even a friend!!! and i'm starting to not be afraid of them.

Today we were working on a Project in english for the scarlet letter which involved a lot of depressing music that i don't allow myself to listen to anymore, and my friend Kristen actually cared about my head getting all depressed. i'm so happy to have her as a friend.

I made a few more new friends and one of them totally left me for Rome today! and she is moving to seattle in December!

I miss India so much! today i more my saree that i got there and  it reminded me of being in Shimla. I could almost feel the humid cold of the mountains. I miss Versha so much. she is a girl at an orphanage there is you don't know. i am sooo happy she is getting adopted..hopefully her buddy archana will be ok once she leaves. Yesterday i had to show a lady my India pictues and show her all the people and friends i made and tell her about them...JESUS I MISS IT SO MUCH!* that was a prayer not using the lords name in vain* my soul herns for the day when i will see them again! Don't get me wrong i lobe the people here but I LOVE India!

i'm still growing a lot in my relationship with Jesus and the Devil persists like the slime ball he is in throwing every possible thing at me to try to get me to sin and turn away...sometimes i feel like Job...but in the end Jobs blessings returned because he trusted God so i suppose that's alright...it could always get worse.

There is a guy at my school who's name is David and he is a missionary from lebanon. I think that is SO kewl. My friend alyssa and him started going out and they're soooo cuute! i'm so happy for them.

I'm going to Breakaway soon! and i'm sooooooo excited!

nikki started going to my school!

.....i really like my school. i'm so happy Jesus brought me there. I cant wait to go back so i ca try to talk to more preppy people and leave behind my stereotyping mind....not every prep hates me.

thanks Jesus! Jamisiki! praise the lord! i love you all!~sAtYa 

here i am back from India and.....wow....it's really hard getting back into the swing of things. Spiritual warfare is really thick right now as i'm trying to change a bunch of things in myself..more like God is but you get what I mean..maybe. It's nice though to be taking my relationship with Jesus that much more seriously. I just realized something...for the first time in years I don't want to run away...I want to stay here and face everything head on...in christ Jesus I am and will be more than a conquerer...that's kind of kewl. I went to a birthday party for one of my friends from school last night, and i felt comfortable and enjoyed myself...well...for the most part..that is really unusual for me. and a couple days ago I went to a church party...and didn't have much fun...partly because there were video games at it. i think i liked last night more because I wasn't in a bubble. That's kind of why I liked India too I suppose. Sorry if this is all confusing it's just that i'm half processing it myself.

I went to a leveling for my new school. I had to do ballet and there were all these buff guys doing these amazing twirly things..that was a little weird.

I just bought a bunch of amazing!!!!!! clothes from the thrift store for school AND I bought a lot of Indian clothes when I was in the beautiful himalayan  mountain's of India!...that's kind of fun to type.

I must flee for it is now time to remove any hint of evil from my life....too long of a story.

I love you all!jaimisiki!~sAtYa

mY LIFE AT THE MOMENT IS PREPARING FOR iNDIA. It's a very interesting time. Yesterday i prayed and read the Bible and wrote in my "India journal" for like a few hours and did a little hindi practice. I am going to miss everyone soooooo much! I am sooo busy trying to prepare but I want to see everyone one last time before I go to say goodbye. A bunch of people are going to see willy wonka tonight from church and I am going insane trying to figure that whole ordeal out with rides and such! *sigh* i wish I had a car...and could drive it!

Yesterday I went through a few paintings and drawings i've done in the past year. i ripped 2 of them up due to the fact that they are depressing and depict me in dondage to demons and killing my self...maybe its me..or someone...but that's not who I am anymore and i want nothing to do with it. The other two...I have to fix them so there is some hopw in the sceam of things...I could reuse the canvas like back in the day artists did..we shall see.

How could something so beautiful be wrong?

How could something so painful be right?

Am i to wish that this love would be gone?

Should i let my feelings go on this night?

All these questions that i know the answer to,

but all I want to say is to say I love you...and my words have run dry, i can't rhym how I feel. Such a complicated thing cannot be made simple. I love my God Jesus too much to go on pretending that loving you isn't keeping me away from  the life he wants for me. So as much as i love you I will never say it again until Jesus says it's ok. Maybe if I deny it enough it will go away..hehe...and maybe if I wish hard enough i'll fly..but know i did love you and maybe one day I will again. I'm sorry..but im not.

Don't kiss me hard your chance is up and I will never let you~altered dashboard song

well christine..i would give u my email right now but then weird people would be emailing me so you can get it from jon if you want or i will if i talk to you before then.

Today I am happy because i'm focusing on preparing for my India trip and because the weekend is here!!!!!!!!!!! there is a prayer send off thing for my sister, Didi and I tonight. happy!!!!!...and yet...i miss the past...a little...today i just feel like there is a wall in front of me...so i dig through it or turn around...but alas i chose to dig through it on wednesday night when i broke up with peter.....MEH!great person..miss his face off..but I have to stay focused on Jesus on the other side of this wall..ek dont want to talk about it

*searches for metiphorical door that leads to freedom from love to better Jesus love..eep!*

roses r red

violets r blu

i love Jesus.

and peter 2..to heck with rhyming!!!!!!!!

ahhh yes..but today is the lord's day..not peter's, not mine, not the OC's

last comment...."so kiss me hard! cuz this may be the last time that i let you!!"~dashboard confessionals

Today I did hindi and ate and went to sam's club to get bottled water for sooooooonshiiiiine!!!!!!! !!

then manda came over and we took pictures of me shaving with her disney princess camera!

Now I am at church and not at finding eternity's concert but church is very happy to, hense i am happy also!

Tonight i am sleeping over at max's and then we are leaving for sonshine and then we are sleeping over at max's AGAIN!!@!!!! ewwwwwww boys have cooties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1

~SaTyA

hmmm...life today is....as you read in the heading exquisitely painful...don't ask me why it just is..i like it....maybe.

today i slep in which was exquisite but i felt lazy because of it so it was well....not painful but you get it.

Then i woke up and had coffee ice cream which i have been wanting and that was exquisite but i didnt want it anymore..painful

Today i bought my ticket for SONSHINE but it was more than i thought it was going to be...exquisately painful.

I finished chapter 2 in my hindi lesson...not exquisite or painful just satisfying....

the sweater i am wearing is 55% ramie, 45% cotton, style 424, RN# 73352, and made in china....probably by the little girls that get disowned or abandoned in the streets...i dont like this sweater now...but it's cute.....exquisitely painful.

did you know thousand foot krutch has a new CD?....i want it!!!!!!

I love Jesus...yes...I do....I love Jesus....how bout' you?

MY FRIEND NORKA IS BACK FROM HER HOME IN HAITI FOR 5 MONTHS!!!!!!!

I AM EXCITED FOR SONSHINE!!!!

today i feel confused and filled with love....exquisitely painful...only this one i dont like so much....and yet i do.

hello crazies!..the forth of july is over...this sucks! I freaked out in a city fountain with some friends and then let of fireworks and rode horses and gave baths to two of them on the forth of July. It was a wonderful day.

and omgoodness!!!! u know how in the movies girls have pillow fights in their underware! well that never happens in real life with the exception of last night.....what? no!

i have been running about taking lovely pictures and i will figure out how to put then in my blog soon! yay!!!!

p.s.my hair is sooo in purplr and orange yarn braids.

p.s.s. i miss peter

p.s.s.s.i got vanilla mint tooth paste today.

p.s.s.s.s. i got a lovely orange dress at the thrift store.

p.s.s.s.s.s i stayed up all night on saturday night.

p.s.s.s.s.s.s i have a program that teaches me hindi now!

p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s today i toldmy dad to stop staring at me and he refused to admitt he was staring, told me all i do is bitch and started yelling at me, and when i freaked out and told him that that's all he's done to me my whole life he told me i had an attitude problem and that i couldnt ask to hang out with my friends until i cleaned up my act. Too bad im much of a bitch to listen to him.*sarcastically rolls eyes* dosent matter he's all talk anyways.....grrrr!!!!!! I'M SO TIRED OF BEING ANGRY WITH HIM BUT EVERYTIME HE GETS A LITTLE BETTER HE SCREWS UP AGAIN1!!!!!!!

well....byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyye

My birthday was wonderful. I went to my new school and was asked a bunch of questions that i could of totally answered over the phone but sinse it was at my school I enjoyed it all the same. Then I went and had Afgan food for the first time and it was really good. After that Anna and Amanda came over and we colored disney princesses! wow it was fun! ....and a little geeky but w/e

Then Peter and Andrew came over unsuspectedly and gave me another cake! i so had 3 birthday cakes! *all of which were excellent*

Peter made me a pretty CD holder and burnt me a bunch of nirvana and boston and pink floyd and deep purple etc songs. so i put all those CD's and the silver line Cd he got me in it and i like to marvel at it. I love getting new things!

I GOT A NEW CAMERA!!!!!!! i have been spending most of the past few days taking pictures with my NEW CAMERA!!!!!! it's so kewl! i can take  black and white pictures or sepia pictures. And it hold over 400 pics!!!!!! i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

Yesterday i went to church and we watched batman and played with an 8 foot beach ball. Both of which scared me.

****eeeeeeek! clowns and large flying objects**** i wish it was just a church service but i got to talk to peter more because of it so i suppose it's alright.

roses are red

violets are blue

i miss peter britnee manda anna leah and sarah...and john and christine and alex and ben and max and pilar and sean and matt and tori, becka, taryn, merrill

and all of u

now i shall read i think...~SATYAAAAAAAAA~

byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye llaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaas!!!!!

My birthday was wonderful. I went to my new school and was asked a bunch of questions that i could of totally answered over the phone but sinse it was at my school I enjoyed it all the same. Then I went and had Afgan food for the first time and it was really good. After that Anna and Amanda came over and we colored disney princesses! wow it was fun! ....and a little geeky but w/e

Then Peter and Andrew came over unsuspectedly and gave me another cake! i so had 3 birthday cakes! *all of which were excellent*

Peter made me a pretty CD holder and burnt me a bunch of nirvana and boston and pink floyd and deep purple etc songs. so i put all those CD's and the silver line Cd he got me in it and i like to marvel at it. I love getting new things!

I GOT A NEW CAMERA!!!!!!! i have been spending most of the past few days taking pictures with my NEW CAMERA!!!!!! it's so kewl! i can take  black and white pictures or sepia pictures. And it hold over 400 pics!!!!!! i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

Yesterday i went to church and we watched batman and played with an 8 foot beach ball. Both of which scared me.

****eeeeeeek! clowns and large flying objects**** i wish it was just a church service but i got to talk to peter more because of it so i suppose it's alright.

roses are red

violets are blue

i miss peter britnee manda anna leah and sarah...and john and christine and alex and ben and max and pilar and sean and matt and tori, becka, taryn, merrill

and all of u

now i shall read i think...~SATYAAAAAAAAA~

byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye llaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaas!!!!!

HELLO CRAZIES!!!!!

Church was lovely as always. Peter came even though he was at his dad's house last weekend because he had to go to band practice afterwards. The small children i watch weren't too crazy and I wanted to bite their faces off they were so lovely!*figure of speech*

Later that day manda came over and we watched half of what's eating gilbert grape and then lohn brought us to christine's choir concert which was lovely because we got to see her pink hair and anna was there. Then i slep over at manda's house and we bought cheese and crackers at rainbow at midnight, and we took her super kewl super ugly new van. It's so hott it has an eagle on the back! * fans self to make heat from eagle bareable*

Then today we finished what's eating Gilbert grape and wow*...what a strange film....but i highly reccomend it!

Tonight I am going to sort stuff for my India trip with the rest of the team which will ALSO be lovely.

SNEAK PREVIEW!!!!!!! TUNE IN TOMARROW TO HEAR ALL ABOUT MY SUPER KEWL BIRTHDAY, AFGAN FOOD, AND PLACEMENT TESTING FOR MY NEW SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! IT'LL BE A GRAND OLD TIME!

~sAtYa~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^

I have to be up in 6 and 1 half hours but I am finishing my tea and then i have to take a shower and then it will take me a half hour to go to bed so i will so get 5 hrs of sleep but it's soooooo ok!

LAST NIGHT I WENT TO THE SILVERLINE CONCERT AND IT ROCKED SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!! The crowd totally sucked but IT WAS STILL AWSOME!!!!!!! DEan did his little possessed drumming routine and told manda he would have to call up...lets just say her man and try to set them up again....hehehehehehehe.....if he only knew *sry manda...only not really*and i got a silverline shirt and peter bought me their CD for my birthday. It was happy and all my friends who i made come liked them so that was happy also. I GOT TO SEE AMBER AGAIN!!!!! I have missed her so and i got to see her for a littole bit but then she fled to hang out with her little brother and put eyeliner on the peoples of silverline and such. WHAT A DELIGHTFUL EVENING!!!!!!!!

Today I lounged about with manda and then we made cookies that were in strange shapes. We were so going to hang out that night and i feel kind of bad but i ditched her to go to the drive in with peter. She practically made me go *not that i mind* that helped a bit but sry again anyway manda!!!!!

Anyway I so went with peter and his family to see batman begins at the drive in which was quite lovely.

The only bad thing today was i just really was mad at my dad. He kept on trying to be funny and it would come out all insulting. He dissed all my friends in finding eternity including peter!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! and he made some comment about how lindsay lohan lost too much wweight and how she doesnt look healthy when i am way skinnier than her!!!!! it's frustrating enough having people at school all saying im anorexic and me hateing how skinny i am but he doesnt need to make comments about how girls that are bigger than me are unhealthy! I just wish i could forget how angery i am at him. I would have made an allowance for anyone else but because it was him i freak out! GRRRRRRRRRRRR AGAIN!!!!!

Sometimes i fool myself into thinking i dont have a selfimage problem like other girls. True I dont think im fat or really ugly but... w/e

I get to go to church tomarrow which is happy. HUrray for God!!!!!

byr crazies i love u all.

I got my Typhoid and Menengoccocal shots *hehe silly word*. OUCH!

I can barely move the arm I got my Typhoid shot in. I find myself screaming or actually coming to tears if I move it to high up grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE TYPHOID SHOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE TYPHOID SHOTS RIGHT BEFORE SILVERLINE CONCERTS.....I LOVE SILVERLINE CONCERTS!!! which brings us to our next topic....There is a silverline concert tonight at club 3 degrees and

i'm so very happy!

Shalom to ur face and i love you all!...I shouldnt be going to a concert on shabbat! Then again i also shouldn't be cursing out typhoid shots.....strange day...COME SWIFTLY TO MY HOME ANNA!!!!!

Shabbat shalom!~satya

LOVE YOU PETER

HELLO CRAZIES!!!! today went to get shots 4......INDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it turns out they dont give shots on tuesday's even though they sceduled us for tuesday. However they made an appointment with a docter to give us shots 1 hr later. SUPRISE!!!!! one hr later when we come beack they dont have the vaccines so i will go in AGAIN!! next week. FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Other than that I am just peachy kean because I just practiced my flute and now i am going to practice Hindi i think FUN AGAIN*only not sarcastic that time*

God bless ur face!!!!!!!!!!~satya loves you!!!!!!

so kiss me hard...cuz this may be the last time that I let you...

It's not over yet

I thought I was done with the tears,

and the pain i've harbored all these years.

When I think of this ridiculous father

I wonder why I even bother.

Why can't I just run away,

and stop pretending for just one day?

Come away with me God screams!!

Next to him life is like a dream,

A nightmare that has scared me dead.

I perfer the ones inside my bed....

...you people get the general idea that father's day is not fun for me in the first place. Why did all this other stuff have to happen?

peace cometh in the morning...

HEY CHICKY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! The main thing that has been going on is i have been goin through a lot of spiritual changes and i really dont know where to start so if you could pray for me that would be sooooooo great.

I LOVE GRACE KELLY IN ALFRED HITCHCOCKS TO CATCH A THIEF!!!!!!

my favorite word is nonchalant

all my finger prints have a loop pattern except for my left pointer is an arch and my left thumb is a swirl (there are only three types of finger prints ALL OF WHICH I HAVE!!!!!!!!) WHOAAAAAAH!!!!!

SORRY ......I JUST THOUGHT ID TELL YOU ABOUT MY SELF BEFORE I CLEAN MY ROOM AND HANG WITH Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Jesus, Peter, and all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY E!

Brownberry natural softwheat bread is really good.

im wearing a really slutty shirst right now and a petty coat like back in the day!!!!!!!!! I feel so weird!!!!!!!

SCHOOL IS OUT!!!!!!!! THE PRISON OF MY MIND HAS BEEN UNLOCKED!!!!!!!! JUBILANCE IS MINE!!!!!!!!! tODAY I WENT FOR MANY A WALK AND WATCHED pHANTOM OF THE OPERA. It was a jolly good time.

Tomarrow i am going to the city pool(soooo lame cept for friends) and i am going tubing at this lake property place with church friend people. (sssooooooooooo NOT lame!!!!!!!!!)

i feel disgustign today..like i'm bad...grrrr for being bad....    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;  

we great the victorious MOOOOOOORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO LIFE!!!~satya

Today was the "9th grade extravaganva!" at school today....yeah...geeky...but fun!!!!

We just went around and had a lovely time.

The first have of the day i sorted music with matt becka and Sarah in the band room, and played E FLAT TRUMPET CONCIERTO, THE FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLE BEE, AND THE CARNIVAL OF VENICE!!!!!!!!

..the trumpet concierto was lovely.

NEWWWWWWWWWWWS!!!!! i am joining a band this summer.....a classical band! I am such a nerd!!!

HEY!!!! i had a super fun emorial weekend..except for I was SUPER TIRED!!!!!!!!! I think it is a side effect of this super dorky..imean..its soooooo kewl!!!nasal spray!!!!! istarted taking in on saturday morning and now im all...LETS GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!!!!! but my mom came to school today to bring me a frapachino because she is the best mom ever!COFFEE!!!! CAFFINE!!!!! SUDDENLY AWAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....sort of

Yesterday i went to peter's house for a barbique and it was lovely

I spent the rest of the weekend and Britnees house eating pineapple and eggs because all their food was packed up for the move but IT WAS AWSOME ALL THE SAME!!!!!!!!

A happy sad thing is occuring...FINALS!!!!! finals means no home work but studying but finals also means me going completely insane from stress. Hense it is happy but sad.

Today was rather depressing....i was thinking a lot about the past last night..like re-living everything..so today sucked..i felt swallowed..or partially..but depression. idk how i lived completely swallowed for like months!!!!!!!!!! but i'm doing better.

I think i shall flee and continue to sing now..BYYYYE!!!!

brussels griffon look like they have been hit in the face with a truck. You don't know what that is LOOK IT UP!!!!!!!!!

a thought for the day.......how ugly would a yorkie brussel look?

651 458 5826, 800 dollar yorkies, 2 females, akc registered

CALL THIS NUMBER AND GIVE BRITNEE SOME COMPETITION!!!!!

...I HAVE A HEADACHE TODAY...."my head is very ill tonight.."~mrs. bennet